Y’all I am back from Israel and I had an amazing time there. The Lord shared so much with me and taught me a lot of who He is but also about the places and things I read about in the Bible. The next few weeks, I will be sharing some of the messages He downloaded to me while I was there.
We went to Masada National Park, which I compare to the Alamo. It was an old fortress built by Herod the Great. During the first Jewish-Roman War, the Jewish rebels committed mass suicide rather than allow themselves to be captured. The discussion of suicide, paired with a very touching devotional from one of my travel companions brought the hurt of my brother’s death back to the surface and I wept. God used the moment to bring light to my brokenness.
I am broken. I look over the Judean wilderness and I wonder why I don’t hear your voice. I realize, like Elijah, that you sometimes come in the whisper of the wind. God is here regardless of whether I can see or feel or hear Him. He is the heartbeat of my soul.
It was there in the wilderness that I realized God is breaking me and it hurts. But He breaks me with the intent to restore me. It’s there that He humbled me and reminded me that I am dependent on Him and without Him I am nothing. It’s there that He helped heal me and teach me.
He reminded me that my brothers and sisters are here to support me but that requires humility, vulnerability and a willingness to remove the mask that I hide behind. It requires authenticity and to discard the insecurities that I allow to weigh me down and hold me back. It means stepping into the light and being 100% real. It means not allowing the potential opinion and judgment of others to be an excuse to hold back on what He’s called me to do. There might be fear but what can mere men to do me? It means own my past and sharing it. Sharing my secret past of addiction and adultery. My insecurities and comparisons. My bad habits. My struggles.
It means stepping out of the shadows and into the light because that is the only way to defeat the enemy. It’s when I hide in shadows and lurk upon the edges that he grabs me, thrusting me into old sins and insecurities that the Lord keeps removing from me. It’s me claiming baggage that Christ took away at the foot of the cross.
It doesn’t matter what others choose. It doesn’t matter if I am mocked or rejected, because He is my identity and His approval is the only one that matters. I am never alone. He knows everything, including the amount of tears I’ve shed. Tears so precious to Him that He has kept count of them and bottled them. His word is a light to my feet and I am His.
What masks do you need to remove? Comment below and let us know how we can pray for you because you are beloved to Him and to us. ❤