A Stubborn Heart? Me?

 When I was finishing up high school, I was under a lot of pressure and stress to look for colleges, finish up my senior year of high school, and dealing with relationships. With all this going on, I found myself refusing to do things such as listening to my parents. There were several times when I would argue with my father. He would ask me to do the dishes or clean something else in the house and I would refuse to do it; there was no reason for me not wanting to do it, I just didn’t want to do it. I would get so angry and let my stubbornness take over my life to the point of constantly yelling at my dad. Nowadays, I find my stubbornness goes against my Father in Heaven.
I am currently not content in the situation that I am in. I have asked for God’s guidance but there has been no direction for me to take except to remain where I am. Of course this Is God telling me to be still and wait, but I am too stubborn to listen or to trust in the Lord that He has a purpose in my life. I’m basically acting like a child responding to God saying, “I’m not gonna do this or that because I don’t want to do it. I don’t feel like it.”
In my refusal to obey my father, it ended up in a lot of arguments and no growth in my relationship with God. Because I was dishonoring my father (and mother too), I was dishonoring God. It seemed as though every conversation ended up in arguing more and more with both my parents just because I let my stubbornness take over my decisions. And even now, I am stuck in nothingness because of my refusal to believe in the fact that God has better plans and that my plans and selfish actions have no way of moving me forward.
The Bible only speaks negatively about stubbornness. In fact, in Jeremiah 7:23-24 it says, “‘…but I gave them this command: Obey me, and I will be your God and you will be my people. Walk in all the ways I command you, that it may go well with you. But they did not listen or pay attention; instead, they followed the stubborn inclinations of their evil hearts. They went backward and not forward'” (NIV). The Lord has obviously stated what will happen when we obey, and what will happen when we fall into our stubbornness and disobey. We will not move forward in our lives, if we continue to “follow the stubborn inclinations of [our] evil hearts.”
This week, what has been helping me with my stubborn heart is meeting with friends. These friends are people I met when I was living in Korea. If I had stayed at my house and continued to disobey the Lord, I would have missed out on this amazing reunion with my friends. Sometimes my stubbornness has kept me from seeing what God has better planned; I’ve regretted every decision I made out of stubbornness. However, every decision I have made in which God gave me the strength to fight my stubbornness, He has shown me more than I could ever have imagined. This time with my friends had been a hopeful encouragement to actually DO something about my situation and move forward.
Anyone else struggle with stubbornness? What are some things you’ve learned? As always we love hearing from you! Thank your for your patience while we were road tripping along the East Coast and reuniting with friends from South Korea. ❤

2 thoughts on “A Stubborn Heart? Me?

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