Y’all I am so excited to share the second in the series “Marriage Talks – Keeping God at the Center.” I wanted to find married couples who would share a bit of their story with us and give advice. The idea behind this series is to get a real look at real relationships and to provide lessons and information for people who want to keep God at the center of their relationships. In a world that promotes and admires teen pregnancies and not getting married, I want to share a message about why it matters to have Him in your relationship.
This interview is with Hannah, who was my life group leader in South Korea. Her supportive and thoughtful nature made it easy for me to confide in her and learn from her. She was a rock for me during my time there and I just admire her so much! I am so excited that she was willing to share with us. I hope you all enjoy Hannah’s story. ❤
Tell me about yourselves
My name is Hannah Disbrow, I am 32 years old from South Carolina. I’ve been married to Traylor for 6 years and just had our first daughter in 2014.
How did you two meet?
We met through a mutual friend who had gone to school with both of us. She knew both of our hearts for international missions and said we should meet.
What did you do when you realized you had feelings for the other?
I was attracted to Traylor from the beginning, but my feelings for him developed a little more slowly due to the fact that we lived over an hour apart. Once I was able to see him serving in action, those feeling intensified.
Tell me your love story.
Our friend knew I had been overseas several times and as Traylor told her he was heading on a missions trip to Guatemala for the summer, she mentioned to both of us that we needed to meet each other. Since we lived over an hour apart, our correspondence began over messages and emails. We met for the first time in person as a church function at Traylor’s church, and it was really awkward. We still laugh about it to this day, but we continued talking over messages after that initial meeting. Once we were able to have a little one on one time, our connection grew and our time together became more frequent. We cherished the time together because it was typically only on the weekends, and we had to make it intentional. By the summer, we had developed feelings for one another, but both knew our desires to serve overseas at some point, and decided to serve alongside each other in Guatemala for several weeks. It was a beautiful experienced that “sealed the deal” so to speak, and allowed us to visualize a life together in marriage. We saw first hand what it would look like to live out the gospel as a couple.
Tell me about how you set boundaries when you were dating.
Since we lived far apart, when I came to visit him, I stayed with his mom, to make sure we always had someone home in the house, especially at night. We spent a lot of time outdoors, around groups of people and talked openly about the boundaries we wanted to set.
What were some lessons learned during dating?
I think we learned to really make the time you spend together count. Do all kinds of things together to get a full, rounded idea of who the other person is. Observe one another in how they act with their own families, how they treat others. Do things in groups with each other’s friends and serve with one another in some capacity.
How did you know this person was “the one”?
In Guatemala, we both were able to see one another in both beautiful and stressful situations. We saw the Lord work in both of us as we worked together. Seeing that solidified our hearts and we realized we could have more impact for the gospel together than apart.
What tips do you have for the single person? The dating couple? The engaged couple? The newly married couple?
I think the most important thing is to always remember that God is working in your life no matter what stage you are in. He can do incredible things with the freedom and time you have as a single person. He will also reveal so much about His nature and character through marriage and allow you to experience His perfect love when marriage is done right. In all stages, God can bless us and sanctify us.
How does keeping God as the center of your relationship work?
It sounds cliché, but it’s as simple as making the Lord a priority together and individually. In order for me to love Traylor the way I should, I must first love the Lord with all my heart, mind and soul. As I draw closer to the Lord, my selfishness disappears and my heart is able to love Traylor well. When I draw close to the Lord and trust Him with my heart, I am also trusting the Lord to work through Traylor. In submitting to Traylor, I am therefore submitting to the Lord’s provision to use Traylor to lead our marriage.
How do you think godly relationships differ from what the world promotes?
The world often focuses on our individual needs. When our needs are met and we are satisfied with our partner in a relationship, then we can be happy. But, Jesus teaches us to love and serve one another.
Can each one of you share one thing you wish you’d known sooner?
Talk about your gifts and love languages together while you are dating. It’s so important to know how you are gifted and how you can be used in the church. It’s also so important to know how you feel loved and are able to love your spouse in a way they see and feel loved.
Share your favorite scripture.
“The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.” Psalm 138:8
Let us know what you think or if you’re interested in sharing your advice and perspective as a guest blogger. As always, we love hearing from you! ❤