The blessings of being single are numerous but it seems like people think there’s an age limit on the blessings – like being single is a blessing until you’re 27 and then it becomes “sad”. I realize that I am generalizing but there is an attitude difference towards people being single in their early twenties versus people being single in their early thirties.
We are not promised marriage. Let that sink in for a minute. God has not promised to give all men and women who desire marriage a spouse. He will call some people to remain single for their entire lives. Forever.
How does that make you feel? Do you feel scared, uncomfortable, okay or what? If you feel negativity towards the idea of being single for the rest of your life, I urge you to lean into God because those feelings could be a sign that you’ve not given Him every aspect of your life.
I struggled with this for a few months as it seemed everywhere I looked (thanks FaceBook), there was another engagement, wedding or baby announcement. Here I was with no career, no potential boyfriend, no house, etc. just waiting and feeling envious.
I prayed about it, had people pray for me, read books on it and somewhere along the journey embraced it (most of the time – I’d be lying if I said I don’t have moments where I wish I was in another season but the same is true from people on the other side). Being single gives me an abundant amount of time. I am able to get more involved in my church, dedicate more time to this blog, plan to participate on a mission trip, read an insane amount without interruption, eat ice cream for dinner 🙂 and travel the world. All of these things are possible while being married but it’s not as simple. It’s juggling your desires with someone else’s and if you have children, ice cream for dinner means they will never sleep. LOL.
The other day, I was talking with a good friend of mine and began planning the travels we would do after our teaching contract ended. I want to take a few months to go home and then travel before committing to teaching again. I’m looking at you Trans-Siberian train trip, China’s tourist attractions (Great Wall, Forbidden City, etc.), Mongolia, some of Eastern Europe and then a dash to South Africa to visit some awesome friends.
We’re making a list – a dream list – of places to go and things to do. You might call it a bucket list but I call it goals. I have a nice eclectic list of things I want to do and see and ways I want to serve. It would be nice to get married and have a family but if that’s not in His plans for me, I’m okay with this life that He’s given me.
I also want to point out that this is not a “ladies only problem.” Men struggle with a single season as well, but it’s something I’ve overlooked and I’m sure others have because it doesn’t seem to be discussed.
No matter what season you’re in right now, I encourage you to list ten things you’re thankful for. What are your dreams/goals/bucket list items? Anything I should be adding to my list?