It’s amazing the impact one person can have without even knowing it. I went to a small Christian boarding school for high school and while I was terrible at maintaining those friendships, I have kept up with people thanks to Facebook. I complained a lot about my high school but it was such a blessing.
One young lady, a few years younger than me named Allison was one of those genuinely nice people. We knew each other (because everyone in a small school knows everyone) but that was it. I remember her laughter and her athletic ability and that she was nice. I cannot recall a negative thing about her.
It’s times like this where I just don’t understand God. Allison was diagnosed with a rare form of breast cancer. She had a small army of prayer warriors praying for her thanks to her best friend’s and cousin’s requests and updates. She passed away recently at the age of 28.
I just don’t understand and I know I won’t but it raises so many questions and emotions for me. It makes me sad that such a kind person, who just graduated from nursing school was taken home. It makes me angry that she’s gone but so many people who “deserve” bad things (rapists, murders, etc.) are healthy as a horse. And it makes me feel guilty. It makes me feel guilty because I know people could recall a lot of negative things about me and how I made them feel. I just don’t understand God’s plan and it’s surprising that someone I was only acquainted with would impact me this way.
Maybe it was her happy and grateful posts or the fact that she supported others in their battles with cancer. Maybe it was her smile over the little things or the awesome animal pictures and videos that people had posted on FaceBook to cheer her up. Maybe it’s the true uplifting and deep friendship shared between her and her best friend; a friendship that should stand as an example. The friendship is one where you can feel the anguish of the diagnosis, treatment and setbacks as if they were her own. Maybe it’s seeing Allison holding her goddaughter and knowing that she will never see her grow up. Maybe it’s the fact that so many people have shared stories of how she impacted them and how much she will be missed. Some are, of course, extremely close and others are like me who remember her from past encounters.
Here’s what Allison’s battle has taught me or reminded me of:
- People will remember how you made them feel, whether they were close to you or just a mere acquaintance.
- True friendship prays for each other, wishes well for each other and is there for each other always
- Graciousness means so much
- You can fight with all you have and still lose the battle
- Live in the moment and keeping aiming for the future
- Life is short and uncertain and has no guarantees
- Bad things happen to good people
- God doesn’t always make sense to us
I know that God had his reasons and I am thankful that she isn’t in pain. I just wonder why He had to call her home so soon. I wonder why there wasn’t a miracle of healing. I trust in Him and His plan but I wonder how the good in this will appear or when it will appear.
Go hug your family and friends; tell them what they mean to you. Reconnect with old friends. God’s plans are good but sometimes they hurt and make no sense to us. Prayers for her close friends and family are appreciated.